Multiple hospital visits this month gave me time to reflect. Sitting in waiting rooms, I found myself thinking about life’s transitions—and what they teach us about navigating change.
When we’re young, we can’t wait to grow up. We look forward to school. Then graduation. Then our first job, the next challenge, the next promotion. We anticipate having children and then seeing them grow.
Every stage of life brings momentum. We lean into what’s next. But those same stages remind us: we’re getting older, too. The very drive that pulls us forward can keep us from being fully here.
Research Insight: Developmental psychology reveals that we thrive on telic goals—future milestones that lend meaning to life. But neuroscience warns: when our brains are constantly wired for “what’s next”, we risk missing the richness of the present. This creates a tension between identity (who we are today) and aspiration (who we want to become).
What if we viewed each life stage as a leadership lesson?
● Childhood → Curiosity opens doors. Leaders who stay curious see change as a possibility, not a threat.
● Adolescence → Identity takes courage. Teams need psychological safety to explore and evolve.
● Adulthood → Growth requires responsibility. Change brings both ownership and opportunity to learn.
● Midlife → Reflection brings renewal. Sometimes transformation requires letting go of outdated definitions of success.
● Later life → Perspective brings peace. Great leaders know how to slow down, appreciate progress, and lift others up.
Yet even with all this experience, the #1 reason we resist change is fear.
As Adam Grant says:
“We don’t fear change because it’s hard. We fear it because it threatens our identity.”
Neuroscience reveals that the amygdala responds to uncertainty as if it were a danger.
But here’s the deeper truth we often miss:
Growth doesn’t always come after the change. Sometimes it happens in the chaos of the in-between.
In liminal space, where the old is gone but the new hasn’t arrived, we feel lost. And yet—this is where transformation actually begins.
It’s the same with life stages. We’re always looking ahead: “When I graduate…” “When I get promoted…” “When I retire…” But what if we stopped rushing? What if we chose to stay present, even in the uncertainty?
In my work with corporate professionals, I hear the same refrain week after week:
“I’m just waiting until my boss retires.” “I’m just counting the days until I retire.”
But transformation doesn’t live in the waiting. It lives in how we show up now—in the messy, in-between moments we often overlook.
Leadership Tip: You don’t have to rush people out of the fog. You don’t need to paint a perfect picture of what’s next. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is stay present in the mess—and help others do the same.
● Normalize fear. Labelling it reduces its power.
● Reframe uncertainty as a sacred space, not a failure of planning.
● Remind people: You’ve done this before. School moves. Job shifts. Identity changes. And you grew every time.
Leaders who can be present in the liminal space—without needing to “fix” it—build trust, resilience, and creativity in their teams.
So here’s the reflection I’m holding:
Am I helping my team fear the in-between… or see it as the place where real growth begins?
References / Resources:
● Adam Grant, Think Again (2021) – on fear and identity in change
● Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness – on telic goals and future orientation
● Lisa Feldman Barrett, How Emotions Are Made – on uncertainty and the amygdala
● William Bridges, Transitions – introduces the concept of liminality
● Amy Edmondson, The Fearless Organization – on psychological safety